Here are your two nominees!

.. Two men from Arkansas have been arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault after police say they shot each other. The two men, aged 50 and 36, were drinking alcohol and taking turns testing a bulletproof vest. At one point, the older man got mad at the younger man and ‘unloaded a clip’ into his back. The injured men had to haul themselves off to the hospital and needed a good story for what had happened. The men told officers they had been shot while protecting an ‘asset.’ The men later admitted they had made up the story.

A man from New York recently called 911 to report strange sounds in his attic. Police arrived and found no intruder — but they did find the man’s meth lab. He has been charged with manufacturing meth and one count of endangering the welfare of a child.

A high school baseball coach has been suspended for attempting to use gasoline on the school field in an attempt to burn off water on the surface. The field had to be closed off while the health department determines the extent of the damage.